


wouldn't it be nice if we were older?

by stefonzolesky



Category: Animal House (Movies)
Genre: Cheating, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rebounds, animal house is about being gay, everyone is gay except neidermeyer we don't want him, i make you feel bad for an omega and i'm not sorry about it, it's like that thing, man worries he's being homophobic to gay roommate, tags will be added as i update, those are two seperate relationships, titles from 60s music
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2019-11-04 00:32:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17888099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: It’s not a song for couples dancing, really. Not at all. But Otter makes it one





	1. at least we got this far

From college to adult life, Boon finds that Otter grows into a fine young man.

First, it was merely an observation, and not even one he made himself at that. He sits next Katy on the day of their wedding, and she leans her head on his shoulder and points at Otter across the room, walking all skeevy behind an unsuspecting Hoover.

“Eric Stratton hasn’t grown up much,” She had said. “But he looks an awful lot older.”

Boon had narrowed his eyes and said, “I guess so,” watching Otter trail Hoover towards the bar. He took in the extra inch of hair that had grown on Otter’s head since they had last seen each other, and the way his button-up strained against his arms -- the same button-up he had worn when he visited with Boon’s family their first year at college. Boon had wrapped his arm around Katy a little bit tighter, like he needed to keep himself grounded.

Now, though, he notices it more than ever. Sitting between Katy and Hoover, months after his wedding, across from Otter and his girlfriend -- _girlfriend,_ since when does Otter have a _girlfriend?_

“If you’d like me to go home,” Hoover says, finally breaking the uncomfortable blanket of silence. “I’d be happy to.”

“No,” Boon said, without thinking. “No, Hoover, you’ve gotta stay.”

Hoover laughs awkwardly and stares down at the table.

“So!” Katy says, making eye contact with the girl at Otter’s side. Boon hasn’t spared a glance at her since they sat down, too busy drinking in every change in Otter since college, since they had seen each other consistently. “Susan. How long have you and Eric been going out?”

Boon tears his eyes away from Otter to look at the girl -- Susan. She’s a pretty, doe-eyed blonde girl, just the type Otter has always gone for. She laughs and latches on to Otter’s arm.

“Not too long,” She speaks with a thick country accent, like Babs, and her voice is just a little bit too sweet. “Almost a month. But I wouldn’t trade our time together for the world. We do everything together. Eric’s a real sweetheart, y’all know.”

It makes Boon feel a little bit sick, the way she talks about him like she knows him.

“Almost a month, huh?” He asks, and it sounds venomous, even to his own ears. His eyes flit to Otter's face. “That's kind of a long time, isn't it, Eric?”

Otter frowns, and Katy puts her hand on his shoulder and whispers, “Boon, don't do this.”

Boon feels like his skin is tightening up just a little bit.

“Yeah,” Otter says. “And I sure do like her.”

Boon is getting lightheaded. Otter doesn't date. Unless he's growing up. And why shouldn't he grow up? Boon is _married,_ why shouldn't Otter be allowed to have a girlfriend? It’s stupid, is what it is.

Thinking about it makes his head hurt.

“Boon?” Otter snaps in front of his face. “Boon, are you okay?”

Boon blinks.

“I’m fine,” He says. “I’m okay.”

He turns to Katy, who is staring at him with big, concern-filled eyes, “Boon, honey, do you want to go home?”

Boon laughs and presses a kiss to her temple.

“I’m _fine,_ Katy!” He insists. “Don’t worry about it.”

From his other side, Hoover stands up and says, “I’m gonna leave now.” He looks at Otter. “You know how Steven is.”

“That’s right,” Otter agrees. “He’ll be bugged if you’re not back soon. Tell him I said hi.”

Hoover gives a nod and turns his back, and Boon tries not to look so lost. He finds a dark spot on the wooden table in front of him to stare at, while Katy lowers her voice and asks the question that she and Boon are both thinking.

“Who’s Steven?” She shifts to lean forward against the table.

Otter laughs and slaps the heel of his hand against his forehead. “Right!” He glances around to make sure nobody’s listening in, and then speaks, even more hush about it than Katy. “Steven is Hoover’s roommate. His _boyfriend,_ you know. They’ve been living together for months now.”

Boon looks up from the table, eyebrows furrowed. “Really? I had no idea.”

“Yeah.” Otter sits back against the booth with a laugh. “Really, though, can you say it’s a shock? This is _Hoover_ we’re talking about.”

And Boon wants to say, ‘yeah, Otter, that’s definitely a shock!’ but the more he considers it, the less of a shock it is, and the more he finds himself thinking that he really should have known.

Katy crosses her arms over her chest. “I just think he should have brought Steven along with him. I’d like to meet him.”

Boon nods slowly. “I wish he’d have said something sooner.”

“Well, I’m thinking he would have,” Otter says. “If you two had been around more since college. You know, Hoover and I talk often, and we’d love to have you guys around. Steven’s a nice guy, too. A bit uptight for my tastes, but Hoover seems to like him enough.”

Boon blinks, suddenly made uncomfortable by how comfortable all of this is, for absolutely no reason. Susan leans her head on Otter’s shoulder and Katy wraps herself around Boon’s arm.

“We should go out with them sometime,” Katy says. “What do you think, Boon?”

Boon meets Otter’s wide eyes, swallows his insecurity down and says, “Yeah, that would be fun.”

 

It’s a week before Otter calls with the details, that on Saturday night Hoover wants to go out for drinks, and that Katy and Boon should definitely tag along too. Boon hangs up and for some reason, he really regrets agreeing.

It’s been at least a year since he’s consistently hung out with any of the Deltas, and it’s a really intense break in his habits. Katy is excited, though, which Boon never thought she would be.

“We never go out for drinks!” She says, tugging him closer to her by his collar to press a kiss to his lips. “I haven’t gone out in so long, Boon, I really need this.”

Boon laughs against her mouth and says, “Me too,” but he really just wants to lock himself into his habits instead of spending his entire Friday afternoon and Saturday morning dreading what he’ll be put through.

Otter is sitting at the bar with a beer in hand, chatting with a short blond boy. ‘Louie Louie’ is playing on the juke, and Boon finds that even though it’s a song he managed to like all through college, he’s never hated The Kingsmen more than he does when he sits down on the empty chair next to Otter, suddenly hit with an onslaught of Delta memories.

“You should know how it is,” Otter is saying to the blond boy. “I mean, you must. With Hoover and all.”

“Otter!” Boon says, right next to his ear. He thought Otter would have noticed him before then.

Otter spins around in his stool, smooth as ever, and his face lights up. “Boon! You been good since last Friday?”

“As good as I can be,” Boon says, glancing over Otter’s shoulder at Katy and Hoover, and then focusing back in on Otter’s face. He nods towards the blond that Otter was talking to. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

Otter looks between Boon and the other boy, “Right, yeah. Boon, this is Steven. Hoover’s boyfriend. Steven, this is my best friend Boon.” He pauses. “The one that I was telling you about.”

Steven smiles, all teeth, and his teeth really shouldn’t be that white. He extends a hand for Boon to shake. “Nice to meet you, Boon. I’ve heard good things.”

Boon furrows his eyebrows and shakes Steven's hand. “You have?”

“Hoover talks about his Delta friends a lot,” Steven says. “So does Eric. I’ve heard plenty of stories.”

“And they’re mostly good?” Boon asks, and he can’t help but laugh when he thinks back on what kinds of stories Hoover and Otter could have been telling. 

Steven snickers. “More often than not. Hoover speaks of you highly.”

Just then, Hoover slings an arm around Steven’s shoulders and says, “I see you’ve met Boon?”

Steven laughs, leaning against Hoover a little bit. The words, “I like him, Hoov, you did a good job,” leave Boon’s mouth before he can think better of it.

“Did I?” Hoover grins. He ruffles Steven’s hair. “Funny, I like him too.”

“I should hope you do,” Otter says, having been uncharacteristically quiet.

Before he can react, Katy hands Boon a drink, resting her arm on his shoulder.

“Great of you to ditch me, Hoover,” She says, glancing around the bar. “Otter, where’s Susan?”

Otter shrugs. He grabs his drink and takes a sip. “I broke up with her a few days ago.”

Boon nods. Of course he did. Otter doesn’t keep girls. He never has, and Boon feels stupid for believing that he ever would.

Katy reaches over Otter, offering a hand for Steven to shake.

“Katy Schoenstein,” She says. Steven shakes her hand. “You must be Steven. Hoover has told us absolutely nothing about you.”

Steven glances up at Hoover. “Is that true?”

“I mean…” Hoover laughs uncomfortably. “It’s not like I had tons of opportunities or anything. You’d have come up, I swear.”

“We hung out last week,” Boon says.

“You were at Boon and me’s wedding, a few months ago,” Katy adds. “We wanted you to bring a date, we would have liked it if you’d brought a date. There was an extra chair and everything.”

“It’s Boon and I,” Otter says, “and Hoov, we saw you for my birthday a month before that.”

Boon points at Otter. “You better not argue with him. He was pre-law.”

“Pre-med,” Otter corrects.

“That’s right.”

“Point is,” Katy summarizes. “Hoover doesn’t tell us jack shit. Is that surprising to you?”

Steven glances across the group, and then at his boyfriend, who is watching him with a sheepish grin. He shrugs. “Not really, no. We’ve been an item for nearly a year, but he only thought to mention it to anyone since we started living together a few months ago.”

“This is just getting mean,” Hoover complains. “Can we talk about something else?”

Boon can’t help but agree.

He turns himself on autopilot for the night, drinking and chatting with Otter in a way that’s just shy of how they were in college, which is starting to feel even more years ago as each minute goes by.

Hours later, Otter slings his arm around Boon’s shoulder and tells Steven, “Boon here can really hold his alcohol.”

“I used to be able to,” Boon corrects, his vision starting to go hazy. “Katy doesn’t like me drinking so much anymore. I told her I was gonna drink every night once I’m not in school, but that’s not the case so much anymore.”

“That’s bullshit,” Katy says next to him. She takes a sip of her beer. “I drink just as much as any of you did in college.”

“Steve doesn’t drink,” Hoover tells them.

Boon laughs. “Really? Don’t tell me you’re with a straightedge, Hoov.”

Steven rolls his eyes, and Hoover rests his arm on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “What, like it’s hard? Just because I can drink like an animal doesn’t mean anything.”

“That’s enough,” Otter says. He rolls his eyes and grabs Boon’s upper arm. His eyes are threatening to close, but he’s clearly fighting against it. “Come on, Boon, we’re dancing.”

Boon sends a glance to Katy, who nods for him to go ahead.

“Have some fun,” She says, picking up the drink that Boon hadn’t finished and taking a sip. “We don’t do this all the time.”

“Don’t have too much fun, though, Otter,” Hoover adds. “Boon is married now.”

Otter scowls. “Fuck off, Hoover, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean everyone else is.”

Hoover rolls his eyes and takes Otter’s seat when he stands up and pulls Boon towards the dance floor. He can barely stand up on his own, and it’d be funny if Boon weren’t so worried that his friend would break his face.

“Careful, man!” Boon laughs, moving Otter’s hand from his arm to his shoulder. “Lean on me, so you don’t fall. You’ve gotten worse at holding your drinks, huh?”

“Foot’s asleep,” Otter says. “I can handle my alcohol just fine, sir. I didn’t get married and bland and stop drinking like you did.”

He shakes off his foot and laughs. Boon rolls his eyes and asks, “Have you gotten any better at dancing since college?”

“I’m a little rusty,” Otter admits. The Pat Boone song that’s playing fades out, and ‘Shop Around’ kicks in. Otter laughs and holds his hand out for Boon to take.

It’s not a song for couples dancing, really. Not at all. But Otter makes it one, dancing like Boon saw him dance with Greg Marmalard’s girlfriend. They’re face to face, and luckily, the bar is crowded enough that nobody notices.

Save Katy -- Boon can hear her laugh over the music, and he can hear her remark to Steven and Hoover just as she did all through college, “They’re well-known homosexuals, you know.”

Boon bites his lip and takes a step away from Otter. He’s never been any good at dancing anyway.


	2. you better shop around

Otter doesn’t try to escape college like Boon does. Nobody does, and it’s actually frustrating how hard Boon tries to forget how he was in college. It’s a wonder that any of the Deltas were invited to his and Katy’s wedding in the first place.

He sighs and hands Hoover the troll doll that he had showed him excitedly.

“It’s a troll,” He says.

Hoover takes it back with a frown and fixes the hair. “Steven got it for me.”

“It’s a troll,” Otter says again. “Your boyfriend of almost a year got you a troll.”

Hoover stares at Otter for a minute, and then sets the troll down on the table next to the couch. “I thought it was cute.”

Otter blinks.

“It’s a troll.”

“It looks like Boon. His face, I mean.”

Otter gestures for Hoover to hand the troll back over, squinting at its face once he gets his hands on it.

“I see it,” He decides. Hoover nods.

They sit in silence for a second, and then Hoover stands up.

“I should get going,” He says. “Steven wants to go out tonight.”

Otter looks up at Hoover, opens his mouth to say something, and then shuts it when the phone rings. He holds up a finger.

“Hold that thought,” He says, standing up to grab the phone. He puts it to his ear. “Eric Stratton.”

“Otter!” Boon’s voice sounds from the other end of the line. “Hey, man, uh. Katy’s out with some friends tonight, and it’s been over a month since we’ve hung out. Do you wanna go get a drink? Or something?”

Otter can’t even begin to explain exactly how much he doesn’t want to do that, so he panics and says, “I can’t, Boon, I’m going out with Hoover and Steven tonight.”

Hoover absolutely does not agree.

“Otter --” He starts, but Otter waves him off.

“Yeah,” He continues, leaning against the wall. “I promised them I’d go with them, so I can’t really back out now. Maybe another time, yeah?”

Otter can’t tell if Boon sounds disappointed when he says, “Yeah, okay, that’s fine. Another time.”

“Great,” Otter says, grinding his teeth together in an awful, plastic-looking grin. “Great, yeah, I’ll see you.”

He hangs the phone up, turns to Hoover, and says, “Great news! I’m going out with you and Steven tonight.”

Hoover frowns. He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I don’t think it’s your scene, Otter, really. We’d love to have you, but --”

“Perfect!” Otter claps his hands together. “That’s great. I’ll go and get ready.”

 

Steven isn’t exactly  _ thrilled _ by the idea of Otter tagging along with them, but he doesn’t seem too opposed either, so Otter doesn’t see the problem. 

“This  _ is _ necessary, right?” Hoover asks, eyes on the road. Steven puts his hand on Hoover’s thigh from the passenger seat. “It’s really necessary for you to come with us?”

“Boon wanted me to go out with him tonight,” Otter says, by way of explanation. “Because Katy is out with her friends. I couldn’t do that.”

Something changes in Steven’s face.

“Don’t worry about it, Hoov,” He tells his boyfriend. “It’s definitely necessary.”

Hoover frowns, and his eyes flit off the road for half a second to glance at Steven. He sighs. “If you say so.”

“I’ll try not to bother you,” Otter promises. “I’ll sit away from you guys and everything. I just need something to do. Don’t worry about it, alright?”

And Otter does make good on his promise, to stay away from them, but Hoover was right when he said that this wasn’t Otter’s scene.

Steven drags Hoover in by his wrist, leaving Otter to follow behind meekly. He refuses to show hs discomfort on any level, though. So, he keeps his head up, and parades forward through crowds of… gay men. Wall to wall, the place is filled with gay men.  

“This is fine,” Otter says, more to himself than anyone else.

He takes a seat at the bar, next to a thin, pale, auburn-haired boy. The boy takes one look at him and says, “I have a boyfriend.”

Otter presses his lips together and waves the bartender over.

“Funny,” he says to the boy. “You’re not my type anyway.”

The boy scowls, turning his back on Otter, and Otter frowns.

“Mint julep,” He tells the bartender, spinning in his chair to survey the room. But his eyes keep drifting back to the auburn-haired boy next to him.

Someone coughs on Otter’s other side, just where he can’t see.

“Lot of staring for someone who isn’t your type,” a familiar voice says. The sound of a beer bottle breaking startles him enough for him to turn around and see --

“Bluto!” Otter lights up for a second at the familiar face, but he quickly realizes that someone he knows  _ saw him here. _ “What… are you doing here? Are you…”

The word ‘gay’ is on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason, he can’t say it.

Bluto shrugs and takes a sip of one of the two beers in his hands.

“It’s the 60s,” He says. “Everybody’s gay, just nobody wants to say it. What are  _ you _ doing here?”

Otter blinks.

“I’m here with Hoover and his boyfriend,” He says, before he thinks that it’s probably not the best idea. He tries to make a smooth recovery, “I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that.”

They stare at each other, and Otter can’t seem to focus on anything else.

“Should I tell them that you’re here?”

Bluto doesn’t say anything.

“I’m sure that Hoover would want to see you. It’s been at least a year.”

Otter’s mouth is dry. He takes a panicked sip of his mint julep.

“You know, I heard Chip Dillard is gay, too. The Omega. I-- I’m not, so I wouldn’t know for sure, but --”

“Please stop talking.”

Otter slams his mouth shut. Bluto finishes off one of his beers.

“I was gonna ask you to dance,” He says. “But now that I know you’re gonna freak out on me, I think I’ll pass.” 

Otter gives a strangled laugh. “Who said anything about freaking out? Nobody’s freaking out. If anything,  _ you’re _ the one freaking out.”

Bluto makes a trademark noise, dismissing the thought entirely. “Just forget it, man. I should go home anyway. D-Day will think I’ve been shot if I stay out too long.”

“Are you and D-Day…?” Otter frowns.

“Oh, no,” Bluto says. He laughs and brings his beer to his lips. He shakes his head. “Nah, nah, nah. He’s… I mean, I wouldn’t say no, if that’s what you’re asking. But no.”

“Right.”

“Yeah.”

Otter swallows down the rest of his drink and says, “You wanna make out?”

 

Hoover and Steven leave without him. Otter feels like he’s doing the walk of shame home from a seedy, underground gay bar. If someone told him this was how he’d be spending his Saturday nights after he graduated, he would have laughed. 

Bluto takes the bus, and Otter thinks it might be too awkward to follow him on, so he walks. Luckily, it’s not the longest walk, but it’s late, and he’s tired, and he just about collapses when he gets to his house.

And he’s drunk. And he’s an idiot. So he calls Boon.

“Schoenstein house,” Boon’s tired voice answers, and Otter almost shudders at the phrase.

“Who is that?” Otter can hear Katy ask away from the phone.

“I don’t know, baby,” Boon says.

Otter takes a shallow breath and hangs up. The last few weeks have been full of mistakes.


	3. money can't buy me love

Boon always wondered at what point the novelty of marriage wears off. His parents were divorced, and so were his grandparents, so the idea of divorce seemed cemented into his future. 

He didn’t go into his marriage with Katy expecting divorce in the slightest. He wanted to spite his parents, to prove them wrong. To prove that divorce isn’t written into the Schoenstein name.

He finds the answer to the question he’s asked all his life -- “When does the novelty of being married wear off?” -- roughly a year into his marriage. He wakes up next to Katy, rolls over to look at her, and thinks to himself, “When did I fall out of love with you?”

He doesn’t say that, though. Of course he doesn’t say that. He looks at her curiously until she stretches like a cat and blinks awake, and then he says, “Mornin’, baby, how did you sleep?”

Katy presses a tired kiss to the corner of Boon's mouth and says, “You got work today?”

Boon nods, eyes darting around the room like he's looking for something. He doesn't have work today.

Katy stares, blinking curiously, and then says, “Okay.”

And that's that. Boon makes like he's going to work. He doesn’t tell Katy that he quit last week, and he definitely doesn’t tell her that he’s going out drinking at noon.

He’s sick of playing house, but he does it anyway.

“It’s all fucked anyway,” James tells him. Boon can’t remember how he and James became friends, but he doesn’t really care to think about it.

He takes a sip of his drink and nods. “Marriage or working?”

James has to think about it for a second. “Both. Why sign your life away? To one place, to one girl. It’s all the same.”

And it really is all the same. Being married to Katy is  _ work. _ Does he love her? Of course he loves her. But it’s been a year of work, and it’s been tiring. It’s been a year of working at his job, and working to be with Katy, and working to forget college, and it sucks.

So, he drinks instead of working and he thinks that maybe Katy can smell the copious amounts of alcohol on his breath when he pushes her down on the bed that night, but he it doesn’t really matter. Not anymore.

He calls Otter again the next morning, hangover pounding on his skull. Otter doesn’t answer -- unsurprisingly, he’s been ignoring Boon’s calls for the last few months -- so Boon puts the phone down and hits his forehead with the heel of his hand. “Stupid.”

If Otter is ignoring him for some reason, that means Hoover and Steven probably are too. And he can’t call D-Day and he can’t call Bluto because, if he’s remembering correctly, nobody has heard from either of them since ‘62. He could call Pinto, or Flounder, but he doesn’t really want to. He wasn’t close enough to Hardbar to call him, and he’s pretty sure he saw that Stork got arrested, so that leaves…

“Shit,” He says, and he’s already punching in the phone number. “Shit, fuck, shit.”

“Marmalard house,” a man's voice answers, and that voice definitely does not belong to Greg Marmalard.

Boon coughs. “Hi, it’s, uh. It’s Donald Schoenstein. From Faber. I was a Delta, and --”

The line clicks dead. Boon sighs. It was worth a shot, anyway.

So Katy has work, and he’s got nothing to do, so he turns on the radio. And he isn’t sure how much time passes but the ache in his head starts to fade away and it’s almost gone by the time someone knocks on the door. Boon groans and pulls himself up off the couch, plodding over to the door. He swings it open, only to find…

“Otter.”

Otter smiles sheepishly. “Hey, Boon.”

Boon stands helplessly in the doorway.

“I called you,” He says.

_ Hey, hey, Paula. _

Somehow, this feels very college. Boon's hangover has become a dull thud that he keeps confusing with his heartbeat.

“I know,” Otter says. “I'm sorry.”

Boon frowns. “Did I do something?”

And Otter laughs.

“I've had a weird few months,” He says. “It isn't your fault, don't worry.”

Boon feels relief encapsulate him, but he tries not to let it show. Why? He hasn’t really figured that part out yet.

He and Otter stare at each other for an eternity.

“Can I come in?” Otter finally asks.

“Fuck,” Boon says. “Yeah, sorry.” He steps aside to let Otter in. “I’ve been all out of it, I don’t -- I’m hungover, and it sucks.”

“You’re hungover?” Otter laughs. He throws himself down on an armchair. “I thought Katy didn’t like you drinking anymore.”

Boon laughs uncomfortably and sits down on the couch adjacent to the armchair. “Hey, Otter?”

“Hm?”

“Can I tell you something?”

Otter nods. Boon thinks that he might be holding his breath. He looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t, so Boon swallows down his reservations and says, “I don’t think it’s working out with Katy.”

Otter blinks. “Again?”

“Again.”

They sit in silence. Boon finds that the toes of his shoes are much more entertaining than they’ve ever been.

“You wanna go out tonight, Boon?” Otter asks.

Boon can’t bring himself to look up from the ground.

“Yeah,” He says. “I just don’t wanna risk running into anyone from work, or any of Katy’s friends or anything.”

“I know a place,” Otter tells him. “But you have to promise not to freak out on me.”

Boon finally looks up, an eyebrow raised. “Is there a reason I would freak out on you?”

 

There’s a reason Boon would freak out on him, he decides almost immediately. 

Otter is scouring the bar -- the  _ gay bar _ \-- looking for something, or someone.

“He told me that he’d be here tonight,” He says. Boon blinks and glances over at him.

“Are you a regular here?”

Otter looks surprised. “What? No. I just -- I came here with Hoover and Steven a while ago, and this is the only place I can catch up with Bluto, and --...” He stops short when he sees the way Boon is staring at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Boon says, even though it definitely isn’t nothing. Otter takes his words at surface level like always and goes back to scanning the crowd.

“I guess he’s not here yet,” He decides. “You want a drink?”

Boon nods. Anything he wanted to say before has since been caught in his throat. He follows Otter quietly to a set of empty barstools, and when Otter has ordered their drinks, he can’t stop himself from saying, “I’m not gay.”

A skinny, freckled boy with a mop of curly red hair snickers on Boon’s other side. “You’re in the wrong place, then.” 

Otter laughs. “Boon, this is Jimmy.” The boy -- Jimmy -- gives a small wave and takes a sip of his drink. “Jimmy, this is my best friend Boon.”

Otter’s eyes go soft when he says ‘best friend,’ and Boon wants to say something about not having seen him in months, but he can’t bring himself to.

“Careful, Boon,” Jimmy says, voice low. “Eric’s gonna try and jump your bones one of these days.”

Boon laughs uncomfortably, and Otter laughs like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He probably doesn’t, and Boon can’t help but be jealous.

“Don’t worry, Boon,” Otter says. “He’s just kidding. I’m not gay.”

Jimmy laughs into his drink.


	4. dear love, i've done you wrong

Right off the bat, Otter learns that Jimmy has good pot and bad advice. 

“Tell him how you feel, man,” Jimmy says. He coughs into his elbow, passing Otter the blunt in his hand. Otter takes it, taking a drag and giving it back.

He feels slow. It's making all his thoughts louder and longer.

“I can't,” He says, staring curiously at the toes of his shoes. He needs new shoes. These shoes are close to falling apart. “I can't, because I don't even know how I feel.”

Jimmy laughs. “Yeah, you do, so you can stop with all that bullshit. You’ve told me how you feel, you know how you feel.”

“You've been gay for a long time, Jimmy,” Otter tells him. He can feel his voice in his chest. “I don't even know if I'm gay.”

“What did Bluto tell you?” Jimmy raises an eyebrow.

Otter sighs. “It's the 60s, everyone's gay.”

Jimmy points the blunt in Otter's direction. “Exactly.”

“Boon isn't gay, though,” Otter reasons. “Jimmy, he's married. He and Katy have been together for years.”

“I thought you said they'd been on and off for years.”

“They've been married for over a year. A year and a half, now, I think. Their wedding was in early ‘64.”

“That's… two years.”

“Year and a half,” Otter corrects.

Jimmy shrugs. “Math is for chumps.”

Otter watches Jimmy smoke, leaning back with his palms resting on the ground to keep him steady.

“You wanna make out?” He offers, bluntly. The fact of the matter is, Otter can’t really hold this whole gay thing off much longer. He doesn’t want to admit… well, he doesn’t want to admit a couple things, really. But Jimmy is attractive, all lazy smiles and breath that smells like gin. Otter’s interest in women has been dwindling by the day, and he can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss Boon.

Boon isn’t there, though. Boon is probably at home with his wife, and it hurts to think about too much, so Otter thinks that he’ll settle for Jimmy.

“What about Boon?” Jimmy asks, like he’s reading Otter’s mind.

Otter shrugs. “What about him? He’s not here. You are. I know you’re not great at math, Jimmy, but that’s as simple as it gets.”

Jimmy raises an eyebrow, and suddenly Otter’s lips are on his. Jimmy kisses like he’s starving, and Otter finds his hands caught in Jimmy’s fiery curls, trying to pull him closer, kiss him deeper. He lets himself fall on his back with Jimmy’s hands on either side of his head, and --

And there’s a knock at the door.

“Shit,” Otter swears into Jimmy’s mouth. Jimmy sighs and rolls off of him, laying on his back while Otter gets up to answer the door.

Standing in the doorway is Boon, looking helpless. He’s wearing the grey sweater he wore all the time in college -- it’s worn down, by now, and there are a few small holes starting to appear in it. -- and toying with the frayed ends of the sleeves in his palms.

“Boon?” He asks, eyes softening.

Boon looks up at him, desperate. “It’s Katy. She cheated on me again. And it’s fine, you know, it’s not like it hasn’t happened before. And it’s not like I’ve never cheated on her -- you know that part, you were there in college. But I’ve been out so much lately because I can’t stand being chained down like that, even though I thought I could --”

“Boon,” Otter tries to interrupt.

“I don’t know what to do, Otter,” Boon doesn’t hear him. “She’s done this before, you know she’s done this before, but not while we’ve been  _ married _ \-- or at least, not that I’ve known of. Maybe she has. Oh, fuck, maybe she has.” He reaches up to tug on his hair, looking panicked and scared.

“Boon,” Otter repeats, reaching out to grab his friend’s wrists and gently tug his hands from his hair. “Remember to breathe.”

Boon swallows, hard. Otter’s gaze drifts to where he holds on to Boon’s wrists through a silence that lasts for an eternity.

Boon coughs, and that snaps him out of it. He drops his friend’s wrists. “Can I come in?”

“Right,” Otter says. He clears his throat and steps aside to let Boon pass by. “Jimmy is over, but he won’t bother you. I can ask him to leave if you want.”

“It’s fine,” Boon says, even though it probably isn’t. He smiles politely at Jimmy when they get to the living room, and Jimmy hasn’t left his spot on the floor. Otter feels his cheeks go red. “Hi, Jimmy.”

Jimmy gives a single wave, pushing himself off the ground. Boon takes a seat on the couch.

“I’ll head out,” Jimmy decides on his own, thank God. “Leave you two alone.”

Otter gives a nod, shoving his hands roughly in his pockets. “Thanks, Jimmy.”

On his way out the door, Jimmy grabs Otter’s shoulder and says -- quietly, just so Otter can hear him -- “I’m here until he decides you’re what he wants, okay?”

Otter nods slowly and hopes that Boon doesn’t notice his cheeks going red. “See you later,” He says. Jimmy nods.

Once the door clicks behind him, Otter takes a seat on the couch next to Boon and wraps an arm around his friend’s shoulders. “Are you feeling alright? Can I get you anything?”

“It’s fine,” Boon says, and it’s hard for Otter to ignore the way that Boon leans into his touch. “You hang out with Jimmy a lot?”

“Yeah,” Otter admits. “Lately, at least. Why?”

Boon shrugs. “Just wondering. It isn’t weird? That he’s…”

“Gay?” Otter finishes for him, knowing Boon well enough to know it’ll be hard for him to get the word out. “No, it’s not a problem. Would it be a problem for you?”

“I like to think it wouldn’t be,” Boon says softly. “Just be careful. You’re fit, and stuff. You know. You’re toned, you’re attractive.” Otter feels his face grow hotter. “If I were gay, I’d have been hitting on you since we met.”

“Jimmy’s my friend,” is the only thing Otter can think to say, his brain buzzing and his cheeks flushed. “Besides, you didn’t say any of that about Hoover. It’s not weird being friends with Hoover?”

“That’s different,” Boon protests. “He wasn’t gay when we met him.”

“Yeah, he was.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know.”

Otter feels his hands starting to sweat. He draws his arm back from around Boon’s shoulders. His mouth feels like a doormat. “Boon, can I tell you something?”

Something uneasy flickers in Boon’s face, just for a moment, before it’s replaced by his patented supportive best friend look. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m not gay,” Otter says, because that’s always the best thing to start with. Boon immediately looks relieved, which is not the best sign, but Otter powers through. This is important, and Boon is his best friend.

“I’m not gay,” He repeats. “But I really hope you wouldn’t have a problem with it if I was, you know. You’re my best friend, you know.”

“I wouldn’t,” Boon promises, but it feels fake.

“Boon, I  _ am _ interested in men,” Otter says. He feels like he should probably just rip the bandage off, anyway. Get it over with. He squeezes his eyes shut, like if he can’t see Boon it means he isn’t there. “I mean, not exclusively. And you really should have been the first person I told. I always tell you everything first.”

Boon doesn’t say anything for a long time.

“I’m high right now, Boon,” Otter says quietly, still not opening his eyes. He can feel the panic blossoming in his chest. “I’m gonna need you to say something, or I’ll lose my mind.”

“If I’d have thought anyone, I’d have thought Hardbar,” Boon finally says. Otter cracks his eyes open hesitantly. “He always had a flair for the dramatic, and that weird thing with Stork. But I guess you always had a flair for the dramatic, too.”

Otter blinks, studying the lines in Boon’s face, trying to figure out what that means for him -- them -- and their friendship.

“How long?” Boon finally asks. Otter knew the question was coming.

“I don’t know,” He admits. “Not very long. You’re the… fourth person I’ve told? I think. I haven’t really said it. Bluto figured it out -- you know, he’s got this thing with D-Day? I’m not supposed to say anything about it, but you won’t blab, right? Anyway, he’s got this  _ thing, _ right? This  _ crush _ , imagine that! Imagine Bluto with a crush. I couldn’t. Anyway, we made out and then I had to walk home because it would have been awkward if I had gotten on the train with him. That was a while ago.”

“Slow down,” Boon says, and Otter sees him almost reach out to touch his shoulder, but decide against it at the last minute.

If this is what being gay means, he doesn’t like it. He swallows down his anxiety and puts his hand on Boon’s arm. Boon stares at his hand.

“Please don’t make things weird,” Otter says, quietly, because he’s afraid his voice will crack. And maybe Boon can see how desperate he’s feeling, because he tries to give a reassuring smile and nod.

“It’s fine, Otter,” He says. “Okay?”

Otter nods. “Okay.”


	5. mistakes are part of being young

When he wakes up, it takes Boon a good ten minutes to recall the events of the day before. He remembers them backwards; falling asleep in Otter’s guest room, laying down on the floor and listening to The Beatles even though neither of them think that they live up to the hype, trying to figure out what to do now that Katy’s cheated on him again, Otter admitting that he likes boys -- 

He pushes himself out of bed, rubbing his eyes and wandering into the kitchen, where Otter is sitting and watching Jimmy cook breakfast.

“Morning, Boon,” Otter says. Jimmy gives a small nod in recognition, sliding over a plate of bacon and eggs.

“Your friend Eric made me go get breakfast,” He explains. “It’s too early for me to even be awake, but no, I’ve gotta go get breakfast.”

“Thank you, Jimmy,” Otter says flatly. Boon snickers and sits down next to him, but he can feel Jimmy leaning closer to him and grinning.

“So,” He says. Boon looks up at him. “Otter told you he likes dick, huh?”

“Hey,” Otter protests halfheartedly. “I don’t know about that, man.”

“Oh, excuse me.” Jimmy rolls his eyes. “Hasn’t slept with a guy yet, doesn’t know if he’s into it.”

Yet. It feels… weird, different, uncomfortable. Boon isn’t homophobic, but Otter… he’d never have known.

“You should call up Marmalard,” He suggests, trying to keep things light. “I’m sure he’d help you figure it out.”

Otter snorts, picking up his coffee with two hands. “He’d kill me, Boon, and you know that. Greg Marmalard hated my guts for every second that I knew him.”

“That’s hot,” Jimmy says. “You should call him. The sex is always great when he hates you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Otter tells him, glancing at Boon with a look that says ‘this guy is nuts.’

Boon laughs. He’s glad that things haven’t changed too much.

 

Otter agrees to let Boon stay with him until things with Katy blow over and he inevitably goes back to her, like he always does. It only takes a week before he’s comfortable approaching her in their house, so he does so, carefully.

She answers the door and he remembers how beautiful she is. She invites him inside, tells him that she’s sorry. And instead of saying all the things that he wants to say, he blurts the first thing on his mind.

“I think Otter has a boyfriend.”

Katy blinks. “Oh?”

“I’ve been staying with him,” Boon goes on to say. “Since you… you know. Since we decided to take a break. He’s got this friend Jimmy who’s over all the time. All the time.”

“You spent a lot of time with him,” Katy reminds Boon. “You never dated him, unless there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Boon cracks a shaky smile. “Jimmy’s gay, though. And Otter…” He swallows his words. Otter wouldn’t want him to say anything. “Nevermind it. That’s not why I came here. I just… I don’t know what to say to you anymore, Katy.”

“I'm sorry, Boon,” She says. And she looks sorry, she really does. “Are you going to keep staying with Otter?”

Boon considers that. Then, without overthinking his response, he asks, “Are you going to keep seeing that guy?”

That guy. He doesn’t even know the guy’s fucking name.

“No,” Katy says quietly. “John didn’t know I was married. I… I took off my ring. Boon, I’m sorry--...” She falters. “I’m sorry.”

“I need some more time,” Boon tells her, because he does.

“His name is John,” Boon announces as he throws open the door to Otter’s place. “His name is John, and I didn’t know that until now. This fucking guy --” He collapses on the couch, covering his face with his hands. “I don’t know what to do.”

Otter shuts his newspaper and moves, from the armchair to the adjacent couch, and wraps his arm around Boon’s shoulders.

“Is there anything I can do?” He asks. “Did you get a last name? Can I track him now.”

“No,” Boon mumbles, turning to bury his face in Otter’s neck. Otter tenses, and then shifts to accommodate him. Boon feels Otter’s hand settle against his back.

The events of the next ten minutes, while Boon is the one doing all of the… doing, are entirely out of his control. It’s his body, it’s his mouth, it’s his voice, but he’s not thinking. Something takes over.

“I don’t understand,” He says, lifting his face from Otter’s neck and wiping tears from his eyes. “How she could do something like that to me. Before, I get it, but we’re  _ married _ , Otter! I’m married!”

He yanks himself away from Otter’s grip and twists his wedding ring from his finger. It settles against the glass coffee table with a clatter. His hands find Otter’s face -- warm, steadily reddening cheeks -- and his fingers brush along his friend’s skin.

“What’s the big deal, anyway?” He asks. Otter’s eyes are darting around, looking anywhere but at Boon. “Marital infidelity. What’s the deal?”

“I-- I don’t know,” Otter stutters out. He blinks, finally looking Boon in the eyes. “I don’t know. And-- And you love Katy, you do, and she loves you back, I’m-- I’m sure of it. You just… that’s just how she is, and how you are, and --”

Boon cuts him off by pulling him close by his cheeks and smashing their lips together.

“Boon,” Otter tries to say, but Boon shakes his head and kisses him deeper. This’ll show Katy, he thinks, even though he knows that he won’t tell her that this happened.

But he has it. He knows that it happened, and Katy doesn’t, and that’s… leverage? Or something. It counts for something. It has to, or else he’d never have done it.

He's kissing Otter, but he's thinking,  _ Katy Katy Katy. _

And later that night, he lays in bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinks about her some more. Katy, his wife, who he loves very much.

He thinks about how she used to smile at him when he came home from work, and how the magic of marriage is gone but divorce seems like too much of an effort, and how he can't figure out how having kissed Otter will help him in this situation, other than to give him something else to think about.

Shit.

He kissed Otter. He kissed  _ Otter.  _ He  _ kissed Otter. _

Otter kissed him back.

Boon shuts his eyes and tries to center himself. He’ll forget about it, he will. He’s always been good at that. Katy will take him back, and Otter -- who Boon is  _ sure _ is dating Jimmy -- will forget about it, and if he ever brings it up, they’ll be able to laugh about it, and it’ll be fine. Nothing they’ve ever done hasn’t been fine, in one way or another, so this will have to follow that pattern.

He yawns into his fist and rolls over. It’s fine. Everything will be fine.


	6. i'm the one who needs him

It’s been three years since he slept with her, and Otter can’t remember what he found so attractive about Mandy Pepperidge in the first place.

To see Greg Marmalard sitting alone at a coffee shop, staring into his coffee from his seat by the window, makes the guilt hit Otter like a bus. He moves his stirrer in his own coffee and contemplates saying something about it.

There’s never been a second in their time knowing each other that Greg  _ didn’t _ hate him, so in that regard, Otter thinks it would be smart not to talk to him.

Since when has he done the smart thing?

He sits down across from Greg. Greg doesn’t notice him.

“Eric Stratton,” He says, holding out a hand. “Damn glad to meet ya.”

Greg’s head snaps up like he’s been pinched and woken up from a dream. “You bastard.”

Otter takes his hand back. Obviously, that was the wrong approach.

“Sorry,” He says. “I thought after three years you’d be over me sleeping with your girlfriend. But you hated me before that, didn’t you?”

Greg scowls. He grabs his coffee and stands up haphazardly, nearly knocking over his chair in the process. He beelines towards the door, and it barely takes Otter a second to stand up and follow after him.

“Come on, Greg,” He calls. “I’m trying to make amends here. Real life isn’t like Faber, and I think we both know that.”

“What, so you can sleep with my girlfriend again?”

Otter cringes. “You have a girlfriend?”

Greg stops walking. “No.” He turns to face Otter. “But if I did, you’d sleep with her.”

“I wouldn’t. You don’t have a girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Huh.”

Greg’s eyebrows furrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a good looking guy, is all. I thought you’d have a girlfriend. Maybe even be married, like Boon, although  _ that _ isn’t working out so well, and he --” Otter cuts himself off to keep from rambling about Boon like he already does all day with Jimmy. “I thought you’d have a girlfriend.”

“I don’t,” Greg snaps. “I haven’t.”

“What’s got you so pissy, then?” Otter raises an eyebrow. “Girlfriend break up with you?”

“No,” Greg says. He’s a bad liar.

“Your girlfriend broke up with you.”

“ _ Chip Diller,”  _ Greg corrects, face red with anger and/or embarrassment, “went all Jesus-lover.”

He must realize what he’s said, because he immediately turns on his heel and starts walking away, fast. It takes Otter a second to react, but he lunges forward and grabs Greg’s wrist as soon as he registers this new information.

“You’re gay?” He asks, a little too loud. Greg goes redder and tries to yank his hand away. Otter tightens his grip. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just…” He lowers his voice. “Greg,  _ I’m _ gay.”

And it’s the first time he’s said it, really. Sure, he’s entertained the thought, and he’s talked to Jimmy and Steven about liking boys, and he’s come out to Boon but coming out to Boon he went ahead and said he’s  _ not _ gay, and this is the first time he’s really, truly admitted it to anyone, including himself.

“I’m gay,” He says again. 

Greg blinks. He manages to wrestle his wrist out of Otter’s grip. “Good for you.” His voice is sharp. “Don’t involve me in it.”

He starts to walk away again, turning into an alley.

“This is the way towards my house,” Otter says, walking briskly after him. “Greg, I had no idea.”

“That you were gay?”

“That  _ you _ were gay.”

“I’m not.”

“But what about Chip?”

Greg stops to look at him again, and he looks like he could break down any second. His voice is tight when he asks, “What about him?”

Then, he starts to cry. He leans against the brick wall behind him, and starts full-on, head in his hands  _ sobbing. _ It’s the worst thing that Otter has ever seen. His shoulders are shaking, and he’s making these awful, loud noises, and he’s  _ crying _ and he spent four years in school with this guy, but not once has he ever seen him cry.

“Greg…” He tries to say.

“I love him,” Greg says. He lifts his head from his hands, and now is when Otter notices that the skin around them was irritated and red to begin with. His voice shakes when he speaks. “I love him, and I don’t know what to do.”

Otter tries to soften his eyes and shed his cocky persona. He knows what this is like, more or less, and it fucking  _ sucks. _

“Greg,” He says again, voice gentle. “Do you want to come back to my place and talk about it? Because it doesn’t seem like you’ve talked about it. And Boon is out looking for a job, so it… it’ll just be us.”

Greg swallows, loud. He nods desperately, and Otter finds himself offering his old rival a hand to help him up.

 

Otter feels all too in his body when they get to his house. Up until that point, everything had just felt like some weird dream he’d wake up from at any moment, and relay to Boon over breakfast.

This is real, he thinks. He opens the door for Greg, and steps in after him. Greg hasn’t made eye contact with him since the alley, and Otter can’t say that he blames him.

“I’m sorry,” He finally says. “About Mandy. And about Chip.”

Greg sniffs and rubs his nose with the back of his hand, collapsing back on the couch.

“It’s fine,” He says. “It’s more Mandy’s fault than yours. And -- And it was only a matter of time, with Chip. His parents…” He trails off. “I should have seen it coming.”

Otter opens the fridge and fishes out two beers. “His parents?” He hands one to Greg, sitting down next to him.

“They wanted him to have a wife, picket fence, and two-point-five kids,” Greg explains. “Baptised kids, good job, the whole works. He’s on a fucking mission trip, Eric.” He hesitates. “I think. I don’t know. He was vague, I didn’t…” His voice breaks, so he stops himself and shrugs.

“I don’t know how much better this will make you feel,” Otter says. He’s speaking slowly, pronouncing every syllable, because he’s never said this out loud, but… “But I’m in love with Boon. Boon, Donald Schoenstein, Katy’s Boon,  _ Boon. _ ”

“Oh,” Greg says quietly. “If anyone was going to be gay, I thought it’d be him. He always had trouble with girls.”

“He was with Katy all through college,” Otter reminds him. “And after college. They’re married now, I-- Well, they’re on a break, because she cheated, but he’s on the verge of going back to her. I can feel it.”

“I guess we’re both just a couple of faggots with boy problems,” Greg snaps, voice sharp. He stares at his feet.

Otter takes a sip of his beer in an attempt to wash the bad taste out of his mouth. “I guess so.”

Greg finally looks up from his shoes.

“I’m sorry,” He says, and then he grabs Otter’s face and kisses him. And at first, Otter is too shocked to kiss back.  _ At first. _

“I’m rebound central,” He says into Greg’s mouth, sliding a hand into Greg’s hair and letting his other rest on his back.

“Shut up,” Greg snaps. “You always did talk too much.”

 

Greg is asleep on the couch when Boon gets back from his job hunt. The door starts to open, and Greg rolls over, and Otter finds himself racing towards the door and meeting Boon outside.

“You can’t come in,” He says, covering the door handle with both hands behind his back.

“Why?” Boon asks, head tilting slightly. “Is Jimmy over? Because I know you--”

“Jimmy’s not over,” Otter interrupts. “Boon, you can’t go inside, he’ll kill me.”

“Who?” Boon asks, trying to get around Otter and open the door.

“Boon,” Otter says. “Boon, you have to promise not to tell  _ anyone.” _

“I promise.” Boon holds a hand up in an ‘I swear’ gesture. “I won’t tell a soul.”

Otter’s throat feels dry. “Greg Marmalard is sleeping in there.”

Boon’s jaw drops.

“He’s a great lay,” Otter goes on to say, and he really wishes he knew how to shut up. “I’m the go-to for rebounds, I guess, but I wouldn’t mind doing that again. Jimmy was right -- it really  _ is _ great when they hate you. But I don’t think he hates me anymore. You know, he was dating that awful little smarmy twink bitch Omega. You can’t tell anyone that.”

“Otter, you’re rambling,” Boon interrupts. He hesitates. “I think I should go back to Katy.”

Otter feels his heart in his feet.

“Oh,” He says. “Okay.”

“I’ve been in your hair enough.”

“You haven’t, but that’s okay.”

“And if you’re going to be…”

“I get it.”

Boon nods. Otter feels heavy.

“I can get my stuff another time,” Boon tells him, an edge to his voice. “I wouldn't want to wake Marmalard up.”

“Right,” Otter says. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

Otter nods. He watches Boon go.

Greg is still sleeping when he gets inside. He picks up the empty beer bottles, tosses them out, and takes a seat on the armchair. He can’t figure out if it was worth it.


	7. show me that you care

**** Boon isn’t sure why, in that moment, he’s so desperate to go back to Katy. Maybe it’s the notion that people really  _ are _ moving on from college that scares him so much. Maybe it’s the idea of his best friend sleeping with Greg Marmalard and not hating it. Really, there’s no way to tell.

The most important thing is the fact that he falls back into Katy’s arms, like nothing happened, like he always has.

“I’m sorry,” She tells him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” He tells her, and kisses her like he hasn’t in a long time. He kisses her like he’s desperate and scared because he is, and he can’t really figure it out, so he kisses her and doesn’t deal with it like always.

“What made you so eager to come back?” Katy asks, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Boon shrugs and settles his hands on her waist. “I missed you.”

Apparently, that’s good enough for her. She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him again.

“I missed you too.” **  
**

 

Boon tries not to think about Otter for a while, after… the Marmalard incident. Because when he thinks about Otter, he thinks about Otter kissing Marmalard and it makes him want to gouge his eyes out -- after they spent so long hating each other, sleeping together? It’s just… wrong, and bad, and Boon hates to think about it.

One day, Jimmy calls him and asks if they can hang out. Boon feels too guilty to say no, so they go for a coffee and Boon looks anywhere but at Jimmy’s face when Jimmy tells him what’s going on.

“You’re upsetting him,” Jimmy says. “You left so quickly, and you haven’t been returning his calls, and he’s upset.”

“And you’re not upset?” Boon asks. He stares at Jimmy’s hands, wrapped around his drink. “He told you he slept with Greg Marmalard, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Jimmy shrugs. “And? So what? Just let him live his life, right? It’s not like what he does with Greg concerns either of us.”

Boon frowns. He glances up to meet Jimmy’s eyes. “You’re not mad he cheated on you?”

_ That _ makes Jimmy laugh.

“Cheated on me?” He asks, eyebrows lifted incredulously. “Boon, Eric and I never dated. Did he tell you we were dating? Because we weren’t. We aren’t.”

Boon feels his chest tighten up. “I just thought… since you spent so much time together --”

“I mean, we made out once or twice,” Jimmy goes on to say. “And that was fun, but ultimately, he’s not my type. And I’m not his, or at least, that’s what he told me when he first met. And then he left with a short, chubby, dark-haired guy so I guess he really meant it. Until Greg started coming over, who also, looks nothing like me. Hey -- maybe his type is just, like,  _ not me.  _ That’s funny.”

“I think he was being a smartass,” Boon says, but he’s barely present. “Marmalard is still coming over?”

“Yeah,” Jimmy says. “He’s got shit to work through. They both do. I think it’s good for them.”

Boon nods slowly. Really, he should be happy for Otter, but something isn’t letting him be. “You’re right,” He tells Jimmy, even though he doesn’t believe it.

Jimmy hesitates. He puts his hand over Boon’s. “Call him, Boon. You’re his best friend. He needs you, even if he’s too macho to admit it.”

“I will,” Boon says. His mouth feels like the Sahara. “I promise. Okay? I just… This is a lot to deal with. Marmalard beat him up the day we got kicked out of Faber. Otter slept with his girlfriend, so he got all his Omega buddies and beat him up. Otter used to call them the Hitler youth.” He laughs softly, staring at the table.

“And now you’re older,” Jimmy says. “Boon, you have to know that life isn’t like college. Eric tells me all about how you’re running away from all of that, but it needs to be a natural progression. You can’t cling to some of it and push the rest away. You either stay there, or you move on.”

“He’s got you calling him Eric,” Boon says.

“Otter is reserved for old friends,” Jimmy tells him.

Boon sits with that long after he goes home. He sits with it on the edge of his bed with his hand hovering over the phone. He doesn’t call Otter. **  
**

 

“Aren’t you coming to dinner?” Katy asks, late one night as she’s pulling on a sweater. 

Boon blinks. “We were supposed to be going to dinner?”

“Hoover invited us out. He got ahold of a bunch of the old gang, and Steven’s coming, and a few other people. I thought I told you.”

“You probably did,” Boon admits. He bites down on his lip -- he’d be an asshole to decline. “I’ll grab my coat.”

 

It’s less of a “dinner” and more of a “party,” Boon finds. Hoover and Steven have rented out a building for the night, and across the room he can see Hardbar fucking with the juke while Stork eggs him on -- Boon could have sworn Stork was in jail, but that doesn’t matter. 

“Boon! Katy!” Steven calls, semi-jogging to greet them when they walk in. He grins. “So glad you guys could make it! Everyone’s here, it’s awesome. I’m meeting so many people that Rob was friends with in college, it’s great. I should have gone to college. This is awesome.” His cheeks are red and he looks like he could fall over.

“Why don’t you sit down, Steve,” Katy suggests. She points to a booth, and Steven nods, grabbing onto the table to steady himself as he sits down. Katy sets down her purse and slides into the booth, making room for Boon to sit next to her.

“This is a lot of people,” Boon observes. And it really is -- the room is packed full of Deltas. Bluto is sitting up at the bar, watching D-Day make a drink. Pinto is sitting in the back chatting with Flounder. Hardbar and Stork have migrated from the jukebox and taken over the dance floor. And Hoover is sitting next to… Jimmy, across from Otter, who has his arm wrapped around Greg Marmalard.

Boon feels every muscle in his body tense up.

“I wanna go home,” He tells Katy quietly, but Jimmy is approaching them before she can respond. “Shit. Katy, I wanna go home.”

“Boon!” Jimmy grins, strained. He glances to Katy. “You must be Katy! I have to steal your husband for a moment, sorry.” He grabs the collar of Boon’s shirt and drags him out of the booth, towards the bathroom.

“Careful! Careful.” Boon rubs his neck when Jimmy finally lets go. “They’ll think we’re up to something.”

“I assure you they won’t.”

“What do you want, Jimmy?”

Jimmy raises an eyebrow. “You’re lucky Eric hasn’t seen that you’re here yet. You have to go talk to him, Donald. I know you never called him.”

Boon frowns. “He tell you that’s my name?”

“I figured calling you Boon was a college thing, too,” Jimmy explains. “I don’t think I have the right to call anyone here the same name as you do.”

“He brought Greg Marmalard,” Boon says. He feels dumb. “He brought Greg Marmalard to a Delta event. He brought you, too.”

“And Robert brought his boyfriend,” Jimmy continues. “Jesus, Donald, you really have to get the hang of this whole ‘real life’ thing. You aren’t rivals in the real world, unless you’re competing for Eric’s affections, which considering the fact that you’re married --”

“I’m not gay.”

“That too.”

Boon stares at Jimmy. Jimmy stares back at Boon.

“Fine,” Boon finally caves. “I’ll go talk to him. You happy?”

“Not really,” Jimmy admits. “But I’ll take what I can get.” **  
**

 

Two gin and tonics later, Boon finally gathers the courage to have a conversation with Otter besides the passing “hey, man, what’s up, how’ve you been?” schtick. He runs a hand through his hair and sits down across from Otter and Greg.

“Hi,” He says.

“Hey, Boon,” Otter says back. He smiles and Boon watches the way his fingers curl around Greg’s shoulder. “This is a great party, huh? It’s almost like we’re back at Faber.”

Greg scowls next to him. “Come on, Eric, it’s better than that.”

Otter laughs. “Right. Sorry about that.” He grins that stupid blinding grin of his and Greg smiles back at him. “Greg doesn’t like to think about college. He gets too tied up in Mandy Pepperidge. Wasn’t everyone, though?”

Greg gives an unattractive snort -- Boon really doesn’t understand what Otter sees in him -- and hangs his head. Boon darts his tongue out to wet his lips.

“Listen, Otter, I’m really sorry,” He says. “I meant to call you after I left, and I didn’t, and now it’s been, what --”

“Three months,” Otter tells him. “It’s okay, Boon, really. No sweat. At least we’re talking now, right?”

“Three months?” Boon raises his eyebrows. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t realize it was that long.”

“It’s fine,” Otter promises. He glances around the room.

Boon stares at the table.

“So, you two,” He finally blurts. He knows they know it’s been on his mind.

Otter nods, a slow bob that demonstrates the buzz he has going. “Three months,” He says. “It’s not -- serious, it’s not serious, is it?” He glances at Greg, who shrugs. “It’s kind of serious. It’s, it’s telling people serious. We’ve told people. But there’s an understanding. We have…” He suddenly looks panicked, so Greg takes over.

“I’m waiting on someone,” He explains. “I… Though I don’t suspect he’ll come back, so we’re here. I don’t think either of us will get much better than we have.”

They exchange a glance, and Boon feels out of touch for the first time in his life. He nods and tightens his grip on his drink.

“I’m going to go talk to Katy,” He says. “Call me sometime, Otter, okay?”

Otter nods slowly. “Okay. I will.”

Boon nods back, dumbly, and wanders over to Katy. He wants to go home.


	8. stick to me like glue

At this point, Otter and Eric are two completely different people. To move on from college is to be Eric Stratton, to be an adult, to be… different, and accept that he's different. To be better than he’s been, and more comfortable, like he’s always wanted to be. It’s good, he thinks, to separate himself into two people. It helps, with Boon, and with Greg.

With Greg, he's Eric. He's Eric Stratton _ not _ rush chairman. He's Eric Stratton, Greg Marmalard's boyfriend. He's just Eric, and nothing else matters. The past might as well be non-existent.

He's still having trouble admitting that he's gay, but it's easier, when he's surrounded by people who understand. People like Hoover and Steven. People like Jimmy and whoever he's fucking that week. People like Greg.

Boon doesn’t call so often anymore, which… hurts, but it’s fine. It has to be fine. Eric doesn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“Eric,” Greg says, leaning against the frame of the bedroom door. “My parents want me to come visit this weekend. I think… Do you want to come? I mean, we’ve been seeing each other for a while, now. And -- And if you don’t want to come, that’s fine too, but I thought you might. The last partner I had that I introduced to them was Mandy.”

“And we all know how that went,” Eric says. He stretches out and shifts to sit on the edge of his bed. “I’ll go. Yeah, I’ll go. Are you sure you’re up for that, though? I know you don’t like to talk about being gay or anything.”

“Worst case scenario, they ask me to never visit again and I have one less thing to worry about. I’ll be fine.” And he says it so matter of factly that Eric almost believes him, even though he knows Greg well enough at this point to know exactly how far from the truth it is.

He nods slowly. “If you say so. I was supposed to go out with Boon this weekend, but --”

“Oh,” Greg says softly. “Don’t worry about it, then.”

“No, it’s okay. I can postpone.”

“But I know how much you care about him, and he doesn’t ever call, and…”

“This is your family.”

“This is  _ Boon.” _

Eric thinks that Greg might have made a compelling point there. He stares with wide eyes.

“Eric…” Greg says. He frowns, hurriedly taking a seat next to Eric and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You know, if Boon ever decides that you’re what he wants, I for one am  _ not _ going to stand in the way of that. You’ve wanted this for too long for me to stay once he comes around.”

“Gee, thanks,” Eric says sarcastically. “That makes me feel  _ so _ loved.”

Greg snickers quietly. “It’s… I love what we have, but…”

“I know,” Eric promises. “It’s an agreement. But Boon isn’t going to change his mind about Katy, and he was never going to, and besides, I’m with you and he knows that. When Chip comes back --”

_ “If _ Chip comes back.”

_ “When _ Chip comes back,” Eric reiterates. “I won’t be mad at you. I’ll be able to take care of myself. But for now, I’m going to call Boon and tell him that we have to get drinks another time, because I’m going to go and meet your family this weekend.”

Greg nods slowly. “I feel bad about it.”

“You shouldn’t,” Eric promises. “Just think of me having to cancel on Boon as payback for me sleeping with your girlfriend in college.”

Greg stifles a laugh, pressing a quick kiss to Eric’s lips. “I’ll let my mom know we’re coming.”

 

“You’re  _ what?”  _ Boon’s voice comes through the phone, incredulous.

“I’m going to meet Greg’s parents,” Otter repeats. “I can’t go out with you this weekend, Boon, I’m sorry.”

“I thought you’d be over this by now.”

Otter’s mouth dries up. “What, being gay?”

“No!” Boon shouts. He hesitates. “Kind of. I mean, at least being with Marmalard. The gay thing… I don’t know, I just never thought of you--”

“You didn’t believe me,” Otter interrupts. “That’s fine, Boon. That’s okay! I get it, I get that you didn’t believe me, because I wouldn't believe me either. Not after how I was in college. It’s not  _ fake, _ though, I-- I’m not  _ faking it. _ I wouldn’t fake something like this, and certainly not for this long.”

“Otter, that’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant.” Boon sounds desperate.

“What  _ did _ you mean, then?”

“I meant--” Boon falters. “I don’t know what I meant. Otter, I’m sorry.”

“No,  _ I’m _ sorry,” Otter says. “I bailed on you. This is just… it’s important to Greg, and he’s my boyfriend, so I have to go with him. We can go for drinks another time, okay? I don’t… I know this is weird for you, I’m sure, but it’s weird for me, too. So if you could just… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Boon doesn’t say anything.

“Tell Katy I said hi,” Otter says.

Boon still doesn’t say anything. Otter sighs and hangs up the phone.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go out with Boon this weekend?” Greg asks, Eric tucked into the crook of his arm. 

Eric rolls over a little so his head is on Greg’s chest. “I’m sure. He’s being a bitch, anyway.”

He pays special attention to how even Greg’s breathing is. In and out like clockwork. “What did he do?”

“He told me he thought I’d be over  _ it _ by now.”

“Being gay?”

“You. And being gay. A little bit of both. I know it takes some getting used to, but --”

“What, like you’ve changed as a person? You’re still the annoying bastard I knew in college, I don’t know what he’s seeing that’s different.”

Eric laughs and glances up to watch his boyfriend’s face. “Thanks, Greg, I appreciate it.”

“It’s what I’m here for.” Greg smiles, his eyes crinkling. “What else are boyfriends for other than to make fun of you, right?”

Eric laughs. He pushes himself up, leaning over so his hands are on either side of Greg’s head.

“I don’t know, Greg,” He says. “You tell me.”

 

While Eric isn’t quite over Boon yet, he can tell that he’s getting there. He’s had a while -- two years since Boon and Katy got married -- and he’s had Greg to help him out. And he has faith that Chip will come back -- Greg is too good of a guy, now, for him to not come back -- but Eric thinks he has enough time to move on. He thinks that he’ll be okay. He  _ knows _ so.


	9. i'm just a stubborn kind of fellow

Boon thinks that showing up to Hoover and Steven’s house unannounced might not be his best idea, but it certainly isn’t his worst, and he  _ really _ needs to talk to them right now. So it’s fine. This is important enough to justify it.

He only knocks for a minute before the door opens beneath his fist, so he grabs his own wrist to stop his knocking. His brain is trying to autopilot, but he doesn’t trust himself.

“Hi,” He greets Steven, feeling dumb. “Mind if I come in?”

Steven frowns, pulling his lower lip between his teeth, and then shouts over his shoulder -- “Robert, Boon’s here!”

He takes a step back against the door, letting Boon pass by him inside. It occurs to Boon, in that moment, that he’s never been inside Hoover and Steven’s house. It doesn’t look anything like he expected.

“I like your house,” He says quietly. His fingers toy with his rubber keychain in his pocket -- a gift from Katy -- as he tries to keep himself grounded. “It’s a nice place.”

Steven looks rather proud.

“Thanks,” He says, grinning. “I did it myself. Rob isn’t much into decor, but he seems to think it’s nice enough. He’s a bit of a slob.”

Boon laughs. “Believe me, I know. You should have seen his room at the Delta house. It was  _ awful.  _ Not that mine was much better, though. Otter was really the most coordinated of us all. He had a bar in his room, somehow he kept it pretty clean and everything too. And whenever he brought girls up, they were always impressed because the rest of the house looked like shit. Hoover was supposed to be in charge of that stuff. Otter always ended up cleaning up after everyone, though.”

Steven nods slowly as he listens, taking a seat on the couch and gesturing towards an armchair for Boon. Boon hesitates and then sits down, his leg bouncing to keep the rest of his body steady. Centered. He feels close to slipping away.

“Hey, Boon,” Hoover greets him, collapsing in the spot next to Steven and comfortably wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Boon manages. The words feel rushed, like he can’t get them out fast enough. “Have you talked to Otter lately?”

Steven sighs, glancing away, and Hoover moves his arm to put a reassuring hand on Steven’s thigh.

“Yeah,” Hoover says. “We have. He called to talk about… you, actually. He was pretty upset. He said you were being -- how did he put it, Steve?”

“A real bitch,” Steven supplies. “About him and Greg.”

“Oh,” Boon says. He’s never felt this slow in his life. “Oh,” He says again. “Oh, okay.”

“What did you do?” Hoover asks. “He didn’t say what happened. It takes a lot to upset him, you know him well enough to know that, so you must have done something pretty bad.”

“I didn’t--”

Boon sighs. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I didn’t do anything. Or-- or… I didn’t  _ mean _ to do anything, okay? I just… I was talking about Marmalard, alright, not-- not--... not him being…  _ gay _ , or anything like that. I said I thought he’d have grown out of it by now--”

“Boon,” Hoover interrupts. “No offense, but that’s a really stupid thing for you to say. You can’t just say shit like that.”

Boon groans, throws his head back, and says, “I know. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“How did you mean it, then?” Steven asks.

“I don’t know!”

Boon runs his hands down his face frantically, and he’s close to pulling out his hair. He doesn’t know why this is such a big deal to him, but it’s tearing him apart. He straightens his back out, forcing himself to look at Hoover and Steven.

“I didn’t mean it, though. And I feel awful.”

“So does he,” Hoover says. His voice is soft, like he’s talking to a scared animal, and Boon would be offended by that if he had his head on straight at the moment. “Boon, you’re his best friend. He doesn’t like to show it, but he cares a lot about what you think of him. And you’ve been acting like a real asshole since he came out to you. He trusts you, even after you’ve showed him that you shouldn’t be trusted. More than once. You have to think about how he’s feeling. He’s the same guy, Boon, nothing has changed.”

“Stuff has changed,” Boon protests. “Hoover, so much has changed since college.”

Hoover laughs. “Yeah, he has a boyfriend! And you’re being pretty awful about that.”

“ _ I’d _ be offended by the way you’re acting if I didn’t know you were just being an idiot,” Steven chimes in. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you’re a little self absorbed sometimes.”

“I know that,” Boon snaps. “But I don’t think I’m being too self absorbed here. It’s not like I’ve done anything wrong.”

“You’re distancing yourself,” Hoover says. “And maybe it’s not just because he’s gay, but that’s definitely what it feels like to him. And stuff like that is painful. You know, my parents--...” He cuts himself off, glancing at Steven for a second, and then back at Boon. “Not everyone takes well to this stuff. You’re certainly not doing the best job of it.”

“What, so I’m supposed to talk to him?” Boon laughs. “He’s too busy for me. You know, we were supposed to go out for drinks, but he bailed on me to go--”

“To go meet Greg’s parents,” Steven interrupts. “Which is important to Greg, and Greg is Eric’s boyfriend. What did you do when Katy wanted you to meet her parents?”

Boon hesitates.

“It was Winter break, and… D-Day had a bunch of the guys to go his aunt’s place in Maine. I didn’t go, though, because Katy wanted me to come stay with her. She said it was real important.”

“This is the same thing,” Steven says. “When Robert wanted me to meet his family--”

“Steven,” Hoover interrupts.

“-- I took off work because he said it was important. Stuff like this is important. Not just to straight couples.”

“But I was planning on marrying Katy! And--” Boon cuts himself off. He’s said something stupid again and he knows it. “I’m sorry. Nevermind. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. That was dumb.”

Hoover sighs and lowers his eyes in a way that Boon has never seen him do before. Steven’s hand finds Hoover’s, rested on Steven’s thigh, and their fingers lace together. Boon suddenly can’t remember the last time Katy held his hand.

“I’m sorry,” He says again, desperately. “What should I do? How can I fix this?”

Steven squeezes Hoover’s hand and says, “Go home, Boon. I think you have to figure it out yourself.”

Boon sighs. He goes home.


	10. a good luck charm like you

Eric finds himself reasonably nervous to meet Greg’s parents, more for Greg than himself. The man he knew in college was the product of… whoever these people are, and while Greg has certainly changed for the better, he has a feeling these people are a lot like he used to be.

“Are you okay?” He asks Greg. Greg’s knuckles are turning white because he’s gripping the steering wheel so hard.

“I’m fine,” Greg says. He doesn’t sound fine.

“Do you want me to stay back and get the bags?”

Greg nods. He looks a little choked up, and Eric can’t help but worry about him.

“Okay,” Eric says. He presses a kiss to Greg’s cheek. “I’ll get the bags. You go talk to your parents, I’m right behind you.”

Greg nods again. “Okay. Okay.”

“You’re gonna be okay,” Eric promises. “I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.” Greg smiles shakily. “I love you.”

Every joint in Eric’s body freezes up. He smiles, his cheeks feel strained.

“Go talk to your parents,” He says. Then, “I’m right behind you.”

Eric takes his time getting the bags. He feels like he’s in over his head, meeting Greg’s parents. And now, on top of that, he has to think about whether or not he really, truly loves Greg. It wouldn't be fair to lie.

It’s not a Boon thing, either. It just isn’t.

He feels like he’s about to pass out as he carries his and Greg’s bags into the house.

“Mandy Pepperidge was a nice girl,” Greg’s dad is saying. It’s hot inside the house, suddenly. Way too hot. “What happened to her?”

“It didn’t work out,” Greg says. “But I’ve met someone else. Better. Someone better. And--” His head swivels to meet Eric’s eyes. “Eric? Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Eric manages. “I’m fine. You were in the middle of something, I don’t… Greg… This is important, and… don’t worry about me. Alright?”

But Greg already has his arm around Eric’s shoulders and one of his hands on Eric’s back and the ground is getting closer and…

 

Eric wakes up in an unfamiliar bedroom, a small redhead girl with Greg’s nose staring at him from across the room. 

“You’re a looker,” She says, pulling her legs up on the chair she’s sitting in. “It’s not fair that Greg gets a hot boyfriend before I do. Kinda sucks that you’re not into girls, I’ve stolen his dates before.”

Eric pushes himself into a sitting position. “Who are you?”

“Stephanie,” She says. “I’m his sister. He asked me to watch you while he talked to our parents. This is kind of a shocker to them. I don’t really know why, though, because he’s always been a little… faggoty.”

“You can say that again.” Eric laughs uncomfortably.

Stephanie nods slowly and then glances at the bedroom door. “You wanna go back out there? He seemed pretty worried about you.”

Eric bites down on his lip. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I don’t know what happened to me, I… Yeah.”

“You need me to help you up?”

Eric shakes his head. “I’m good.” He gets out of the bed. “I’ve got it. Lead the way.”

Stephanie gestures for him to follow her into the living room, and he follows timidly, hands in his pockets. Greg’s head snaps up and he’s out of his seat, hands on Eric’s upper arms, before Eric can register what’s happening.

“Are you okay?” He asks, eyes scanning Eric’s body for anything that could be wrong. “What happened? Do you need to go home? Should I call someone?”

“I’m fine,” Eric says, letting a smile spread on his face. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m okay.”

“I was so worried,” Greg says, quickly wrapping his arms around Eric and pressing a kiss to his hair when Eric buries his head in Greg’s chest.

Behind them, Greg’s mom coughs.

“You expect us to be okay with this?” She asks.

Greg turns around and lets go of Eric like he’s been burned.

“Sorry,” He mumbles. Suddenly, loud, confident, egotistical Greg Marmalard has turned into a stammering, blushing mess.

Eric puts his hand on Greg’s waist protectively, and any doubts he was having disappear for the moment. This is important. Greg needs him. He blew off Boon for this. That last part doesn’t even matter. This isn’t about Boon. This is about Greg.

“Yeah,” Eric finally says, after a pause that feels like years. “Yeah, I, at the very least, expect you to be okay with this. You don’t have to be  _ thrilled _ about it, nobody should be thrilled that their child is subject to… bigotry, or whatever, but you should at the very least be  _ okay _ with it. Being  _ okay _ with it is the least he could ask for.”

“Well put, Eric,” Stephanie tells him. Neither of Greg’s parents say anything.

Eric turns to his boyfriend. “Do you want to go?”

Greg nods. Nobody says another word as Eric leads Greg towards the door. They don’t speak until they’re halfway back to Eric’s house.

 

“They hate me,” Greg says. His voice cracks. “They hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” Eric says.

“They hate me, I made them hate me.”

“Stephanie doesn’t hate you.”

“Stephanie wants to fuck you.”

Eric tenses at the wheel.

“Greg, I really don’t think we should--”

“Can you just drive me home?”

“Greg…”

“Just drive me home, Eric.”

Eric drives him home.

 

Eric has forgotten what it’s like for his house to be empty. Greg hasn’t been living with him, but he might as well have been. 

Guilt turns in Eric’s stomach. He calls Boon.

 

“Sorry, there was traffic,” Boon says, shedding his coat at the same time that Otter sheds Eric. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Otter promises. “I just… Greg’s mad, and I don’t think he’s mad at  _ me _ , but he’s pissed, and he doesn’t want to be around me, and -- do you wanna go get a drink? I think I need to go get a drink. I really, really,  _ really _ need a drink.”

Boon nods. “Let’s go get a drink. I’ll drive.”

 

They don’t talk in the car. Otter doesn’t trust himself to say anything. Because it’s Eric who has a boyfriend, who is able to stand up for said boyfriend, who is able to consider spending the rest of his life with him. But it’s Otter who still has a weakness. It’s Otter who can’t hold his tongue.

“You alright, Otter?” Boon asks, turning the car off outside of the bar. “You wanna talk about it?”

Otter shrugs. He shuts the car door and shoves his hands in his pockets, following Boon into the bar. “Greg said he loved me and I fainted, and then his sister apparently was flirting with me, and I yelled at his parents and then drove him home. My day hasn’t exactly been fantastic.”

Boon frowns, taking a seat at the bar and waving the bartender over. He orders them both a drink and then turns to Otter. “Can we forget about everything else for tonight?”

Otter feels his heart in his stomach. “Katy?”

Boon laughs nervously. “I don’t think I can do this, Otter, I really don’t think I can. Be glad you can’t get married, because--...” He falters. Otter stares down his drink. “Fuck, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

“It’s fine,” Otter lies. He really considers it for a second. “I don’t think I could really see myself spending the rest of my life with Greg anyway. I mean… it’s fun, but at the end of the day, he’s still the same guy who constantly took the piss out of me in college.”

The thing is, he really doesn’t believe that. Greg has changed, Otter almost doesn’t recognize him anymore. But he really can’t see them spending the rest of their lives together. And maybe Boon isn’t all of that, but he certainly has something to do with it.

“Are you gonna break up with him, then?” Boon asks.

Otter frowns. “I don’t think I am. He’ll leave me eventually. When his ex comes back, he will. And I’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine.”

They sit in silence. Otter hesitates before he speaks again.

“I liked what you said about forgetting about everything else for tonight,” He says, finally taking a sip of his drink. “Let’s do that.”


	11. although my eyes were open

Katy cheats on Boon again. And again. And again, and again, and again. It happens so often that he grows numb, and when she’s gone, he just assumes she’s out with another man. 

He starts to think that it’s his fault. Not that there’s something wrong with him, he has no doubt that she loves him at the end of the day. It’s just that… he never should have tried to chain someone like her down, especially if he wasn’t sure he wanted to get married to begin with.

That’s in the past, now. Katy is his present, and Katy is his future.

“Sarah from work invited me on a trip with her and some of the girls,” Katy says quietly, one night while they’re in bed. Her breathing is slow and even. Boon wishes he could say the same for himself. “Next week. For the whole week. My boss already said it was okay for me to take off, too.”

“You’re gonna go,” Boon says, because there’s no question there. Of course she’s going. 

She nods. “I am.”

Boon rolls over, facing the wall.

“I don’t care that you’re fucking other guys,” He tells her. “I really don’t. It isn’t new.”

“Boon…” Katy starts to say. She doesn’t say anything else. Neither of them do.

 

In the morning, he goes to Hoover and Steven’s. 

“Katy’s cheating on me again,” He tells Hoover.

Hoover sighs. “Again? Christ, Boon. You should really get a divorce.”

Boon sighs and collapses against an armchair. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Do you love her?” Steven asks.

Boon considers it. He doesn’t really know, so he doesn’t answer. That’s enough for Hoover and Steven.

“You’re holding each other back,” Steven tells him. “I mean, I guess  _ you _ aren’t holding  _ her _ back, if she’s spending all her free time sleeping with other guys. Have you been with anyone else since you two got married?”

Boon frowns. “I made out with a college girl last weekend. And two years ago, I…” His heart catches in his throat. “Nevermind.

Hoover raises an eyebrow. “Boon?”

Boon bites down on his lip.

“I kissed Otter,” He blurts. “The first time Katy cheated on me while we were married. I kissed him. I thought it would help, I don’t… I don’t know. I shouldn’t have done it. I don’t even know if he remembers it.”

“I’m sure he remembers,” Hoover promises. Boon isn’t sure if that makes him feel better or worse. “Have you said anything about it since?”

“No, not since he’s been with Greg.” Boon frowns. “I don’t like them together, you know.”

There’s a knock at the door. Steven holds up a finger. “I’ll get it. You two keep talking.”

Boon trails him towards the door and then turns back to Hoover, who is lost in thought.

“Hoov?” He asks. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Hoover says. He blinks back into the conversation. “Just trying to figure out how to approach this topic. You know why Greg and Otter got together in the first place?”

“They called it an arrangement,” Boon says. “A while ago, Otter told me he wasn’t sure if he loved Greg to begin with.”

“Convenience,” Hoover says. “Greg’s boyfriend left him, for… Christianity. It was a whole thing. They need each other, Boon. So even if you don’t think it’s best…”

“I know, I know.” Boon sighs. Otter pokes his head into the room.

Otter is here. Why is Otter here?

“Boon?” He asks. A grin spreads across his face, and honestly, Boon can’t remember the last time he saw Otter smile that wide. “Great to see you! I can’t stay -- Greg just left his camera here, Steven’s going to get it. It’s been too long. We should hang out. We should really hang out.”

Boon stares at Otter, eyes wide, jaw ajar, for way too long.

“Boon?” Otter asks again, but before Boon can respond, Steven is back with Greg’s camera and Otter is out the door, some rushed excuse about being late to Greg’s house and sorry that they can’t catch up.

Boon can’t breathe until Otter is out the door. 

“Are you okay?” Steven asks him.

“I don’t know,” Boon says, because he doesn’t.

Hoover and Steven exchange a glance that Boon knows he’ll never be part of. Hoover runs a hand through his hair, and light bounces off of… something, right into Boon’s eye. He blinks.

“Is that a ring?” He asks.

Hoover and Steven exchange a glance.

“Yeah,” Hoover says, smiling bashfully. “Yeah, I mean. A while back, when you were here, you mentioned something about, uh, how stuff with Katy was important because you were planning on marrying her.”

“I know we can’t get married,” Steven picks up. “Not legally. But we might as well be. I don’t see anything going wrong with us anytime soon, either. I didn’t think saying we’re married would be such a big deal, you know. So, we got married. Unofficially.”

Boon blinks.

“I, uh…” He stammers. “Wow. That’s great, you guys, I’m really happy for you. You should have said something, I would have gotten you a gift, or-- or… or something.”

“We didn’t want it to be a big thing,” Hoover says. “It’s fine, Boon, we didn’t get married for the gifts.”

"Still," Boon says. He hesitates. "Who else knows?"

Steven glances at Hoover and then back at Boon. "Uh. Our families. Eric and Greg. I don't know if we told any of the other Deltas, we haven't seen them much. A couple of my close friends. Like Robert said, we didn't want it to be a big thing."

Boon's head bobs slowly. These days finds himself, more often than not, feeling like a total moron.

“I’m happy for you,” He says quietly. “I think I should tell Katy that things aren’t working. It’ll never be the same for us as it is for you two.”

“Do you love her?” Steven asks again.

“I don’t know,” Boon says. “I think so. I wouldn't have stayed this long if I didn’t.”

“You can make it work,” Steven promises him. “I mean, if you’re being so passive… she might just think you don’t care. You come back anyway. Maybe you should talk to someone who has experience with cheating or being cheated on. I don’t, and neither does Robert.”

“Who does?” Boon asks, but he knows as soon as he says it. “Otter does. But that’s different, I can’t talk to him about my problems, because…”

“Because…” Hoover raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” Boon admits. “But I can’t.”

“You didn’t hesitate to complain to him before,” Hoover points out. “I don’t see why you couldn’t do it now.”

Boon nods. He frowns, staring at the toes of his shoes.

“I’ll get out of your hair,” He tells Hoover and Steven. “Sorry for bothering. I’ll find somewhere else to stay, while I figure this out.”

“Okay,” Hoover says. “You can always come back here if you need it.”

Boon nods again. He hesitates before he stands up, but he leaves without saying another word.

 


	12. a way that i've never been kissed before

Otter doesn’t stay at Hoover and Steven’s long enough to question what Boon is  _ really _ doing there. 

He’s Eric soon enough that he doesn’t have to think about it. Greg kisses him before he gets through the door.

“I brought your camera,” Eric tells him. “You left it in the guest room.”

“Thanks,” Greg says, taking the camera from Eric and setting it down on the table. “There’s leftover pasta in the kitchen if you want it. I’m gonna put on a movie.”

Eric nods and gets himself some pasta, and the domesticity of the night is so… comfortable.

Greg puts on Dr. Strangelove. Eric settles against him and says, “This came out our last year of college, didn’t it? I went and saw it with Boon.”

Greg nods, wrapping his arm around Eric’s shoulders. “Yeah, it was Chip’s favorite. This is his tape, he left it here when he took off. What a coincidence, huh?”

“Two years ago we were just a couple of faggots with boy problems.” Eric laughs. “Look at us now.”

“We still are,” Greg reminds him. “Only difference is we don’t hate each other.”

Halfway through the movie, someone knocks on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Greg says, pulling himself off the couch. Eric watches him go, unable to turn his attention back to the movie until Greg disappears into the hallway, and even then, all Eric wants to do is listen.

Especially when he hears Greg say, “Chip,” in that nostalgic, breathless voice he uses to talk about his ex boyfriend. Eric thinks it would be in poor taste to get off the couch. “You look… thinner. You look good.”

Since when has Eric done anything that  _ wouldn't  _ be in poor taste? He’s at the door, at Greg’s side, before he can overthink it.

Chip does look thinner. He looks older and more weathered. And, noticeably, he has a carrier in his arm, holding a child. 

“I didn’t want to go home,” Chip says. His eyes drift towards Eric, then back at Greg. “What’s he doing here?”

“I--... He… I, uh. He and I, we’re… We’re dating, Chip.”

Chip blinks. His expression hardens. “I thought I could come back.”

“You can!” Greg promises. “I mean, you always could. Still can. You can. Uh.”

“I can leave,” Eric offers quietly. “Give you two some space.”

“It’s fine,” Greg says, reaching for Eric’s hand. Eric takes it, locking their fingers together loose enough so that Greg could easily pull away whenever he wants. He knows this could be the last time. “It’s fine, Eric, you can stay. Chip! Uh. Chip. Do you… want to come in? You can come inside, if you want.”

He yanks Eric aside to make room for Chip to step inside. Chip scowls at Eric, and Eric feels… wrong. He tightens his grip on Greg's hand.

“I think you should give us some space,” Chip says, sounding bitter. “I think we need to have a talk.”

Eric looks between Greg and Chip. “I would agree with you, if Greg hadn’t told me to stay. I just want what’s best for him.”

Chip scowls. Greg looks more panicked than Eric has ever seen him in all the time they’ve been together.

“Chip,” Greg says, like he can’t believe he’s saying it. “Chip, why don’t you wait here for a minute. Okay? I’m gonna talk to Eric, alone, and then we can talk. Okay? Sound good? Great.”

And then Eric is being whisked away into the bedroom, pulled so he’s sitting on the bed, and looking into Greg’s eyes. 

“I can tell him to leave,” He says quietly. “It’s been two years, I can tell him to go.”

Eric carefully puts his hands on either side of Greg’s face. “It’s been two years, and did you ever stop loving him?”

Greg swallows, loud. He shakes his head.

“I told you he’d be back,” Eric tells him. “And I told you when he came back, we could just… pretend this never happened.”

“I want to go back to him,” Greg admits. “I do. But I don’t want to pretend this never happened.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Eric asks. “Let you two sort things out? If he doesn’t want you back, I’m here, but I know you love him more than you’ve ever loved me. And I still have Boon to pine after, I won’t get bored.”

Greg laughs sadly. Eric lowers his hands. 

Otter. Otter lowers his hands.

“I’m sorry, Eric,” Greg says. “I just… I’m sorry.”

“Call me Otter,” Otter tells him. “It’s what my best friends call me.”

Greg smiles sadly. He presses a kiss to Otter’s lips for the last time.

“Don’t forget to call me, okay?”

Otter nods slowly. His eyes are out of focus.

“I won’t,” He promises.

Greg smiles. Otter knows this was inevitable, but it still stings.

 

When Otter gets home, Boon is there waiting for him.

“You gave me a spare key,” Boon reminds him from the couch. Rawhide is playing on the TV, and Boon is watching it intently. He tears his eyes away. “Have you been crying?”

Otter rubs his eyes. “No,” He lies. “I’m fine. Boon, what are you doing here?”

“Katy cheated on me again,” Boon tells him. “I didn’t want to bother Hoover and Steven any more than I already have. I thought you were going to Greg’s?”

“His ex came back,” Otter explains, taking a seat on the couch next to Boon. “I told him I’d leave when that happened. I knew it would. Chip Diller -- you remember Chip, right? He’s got a kid now and everything. Doing the whole single parent thing. I guess not so single anymore, though.” He laughs, rubbing his eyes again.

“I’m sorry, man,” Boon says quietly. “Are you okay?”

“I”m fine,” Otter promises. “I’m fine. I’m okay. What about you? What’s going on with Katy?”

“She’s fucking other guys. As always.” Boon laughs uncomfortably. “I haven’t been with anything since we got married, you know. Except for… except for, I kissed a college girl at a bar last weekend, and that time I made out with you.”

Otter feels his heart catch in his throat. “I didn’t think you remembered that.”

“I do,” Boon promises. “I didn’t want to bring it up, in case you forgot.”

“Why did you do it?” Otter can’t help but ask.

Boon shrugs. “I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

Otter thinks that, at this point in his life, he doesn’t have all that much to lose. So he asks the question he would have never dreamt of asking before this moment -- “Wanna do it again?”

Boon blinks, and as surprised as Otter is by his own question, he’s even more surprised by Boon’s answer.

“Yes.”

And suddenly, all of Otter’s wildest dreams are coming true.


	13. no matter what the trouble may be

Boon doesn’t know why he kisses Otter, in all honesty. It feels… cruel. 

He'd never hurt Otter on purpose. And Otter _ asked him _ for this, so he doesn't know why it all feels so wrong. Why he feels so awful about it.

Maybe it's to get back at Katy again, even though he'll never tell her. Maybe it's because of just how broken Otter looks after telling him that Greg left him. Maybe it's both.

Otter just seems so  _ desperate,  _ and Boon is self aware enough to recognize that maybe he’s desperate, too.

It’s different this time. It’s not the same as when Boon kissed Otter the first time, drunk on anger with nowhere to put it. It’s… better.

Eventually, Otter tears away and asks the question Boon has been dreading. Not “are you gay?” because Boon could just tell the truth -- no, he’s not. But no, Otter has to go and ask him, “Why are you doing this?”

And Boon has no idea.

“I don’t know,” He says. Then, he chooses his words carefully. “If you want to stop, that’s fine. If, hypothetically, I found myself kissing… a girl, who wasn’t interested in men, I would probably stop. Because I would know it wasn’t going anywhere.”

“You’re not…” Otter starts, and he never finishes. He turns his eyes back towards the TV. “Clint Eastwood, huh?”

And Boon supposes that’s that, then. He refuses to let himself be too torn up about it. He’s straight, after all. He was just doing it to help Otter. And Otter is fine, or he says he’s fine, so there’s no reason for them to continue.

“Mind if I stay here again?” He asks. “Just until I feel like I can go back to Katy.”

“Why do you always go back to her?” Otter snaps. He softens. “Sorry. I just don’t get it.”

Boon wants to say “because I love her,” but he doesn’t, because he can’t, because he doesn’t know if it’s true.

“Because she’s safe,” He says. “I think. Maybe because I can. She’s constant, and she’s always been there, and she always will be.”

“So am I,” Otter says, and now, the bitterness in his voice is almost palpable. “I’ve always been here, Boon, and I’ll always be here.”

Boon doesn’t know how to respond to that. Otter sets his jaw. Boon looks away from him.

“I’m sorry that I’m not gay,” He tells Otter, trying not to sound as upset as he is. “But I know you’d be all over me if I was, and I don’t know if I could take that.”

It’s cruel, and awful, and Boon regrets it as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Otter, I didn’t--”

“I think you should leave, Boon,” Otter tells him, voice dangerously steady. “I think you should find somewhere else to stay for tonight. You can come back tomorrow. If you don’t go back to Katy by then.”

Boon hasn’t seen Otter this mad in a long, long time. He stands up slowly, hoping Otter will change his mind, grabs his suitcase from behind the couch, and then he’s out the door.

He doesn’t know why he felt the need to act like that. He’s back to being an idiot, when Otter used to make him feel like the smartest guy in the world.

He can’t go back to Hoover and Steven’s, not after that, but he certainly can’t go home. He isn’t sure where to go, not anymore. He doesn’t know who to turn to.

He finds a payphone, slips a couple coins in, and dials D-Day’s number, knowing there’s a fifty-fifty chance he’ll get nothing out of it. But, fortunately, someone picks up.

“Hola?”

Boon blinks.

“Hi, sorry, I’m looking for D-Day?”

“Él no está aquí. Lo siento.”

"D-Day? It’s Boon.”

There’s a silence on the other end. Someone clears their throat.

“Oh. Boon. Sorry. Good to hear from you.”

Boon laughs awkwardly. "Hey, I know you probably don't want to give up your address, but I really need somewhere to stay for the night, and I--"

"Hold on," D-Day interrupts. "You can't stay with Otter?"

"I…" Boon frowns. "He's mad at me. I don't want to talk about it."

"Hoover and Steven?" D-Day asks.

Boon shifts uncomfortably. "I've bothered them too much. D-Day, you know I wouldn't be asking if I didn't really need it. I swear."

D-Day sighs. "Okay. I'll give you the address."

 

D-Day's house is nicer than Boon would have expected, after knowing the guy for so many years. It's pretty big, and neatly kept. He feels like he's approaching the wrong place, especially when a young, tall, silver-haired man opens the door.

"Can I help you?" He asks.

Boon blinks. Then, he processes the question.

"Uh, yeah," He says. "I'm looking for D-Day?"

The man laughs. "You must be Boon!" He grins, turning and calling over his shoulder, "Dan, your friend is here!"

He glances back at Boon and gives him a once-over.

"Freddy," He finally says, offering a hand that Boon shakes quickly. "Dan didn't say you were a looker."

"Uh…" Boon bites down on his lip, but he's saved from having to think up a response by D-Day shoving Freddy out of the doorway.

"Boon!" He shouts, pulling Boon into an aggressive hug. "It's been too long! Here, come in, shut the door. Make yourself at home. I see you've met Freddy!"

Freddy laughs and sticks the end of a cigarette in his mouth, shutting the door as Boon is whisked into another room.

"Can I get you a drink?" D-Day asks, but he doesn't give Boon a chance to respond before he's gone. Freddy pushes Boon down on the couch and sits next to him, his arm stretching across the back, behind Boon's shoulders.

"How many guys are living here?" Boon asks, scanning the place. As nice as it is on the outside, the inside reeks of college.

"A couple," Freddy says. "Dan, his fella. Charlie. There's a few girls, in and out. Victor. People come and go."

"Dan, as in D-Day? His fella?"

Freddy laughs. "He told me you'd call him that. Yeah, his fella. I mean, they haven't said anything about it, but you know how it is."

Boon nods, but he doesn't know. Freddy inches a little closer to him.

"So what brings you around, then?" He asks, eyes trained on the side of Boon's face. D-Day is coming back with his drink. He hands Boon the glass and sits down on a chair across the room.

"Relationship troubles," Boon says, nodding a thanks towards D-Day for the beer. "Couldn't stay with Otter 'cause he's pissed as all fuck at me."

"So you called Danny, huh?" Freddy laughs. He hasn't looked away from Boon's face at all, and Boon is starting to get a little creeped out by it. "We don't mind having you, though, not at all." His arm slips down and falls around Boon's shoulders.

Boon shrugs Freddy's arm off of him.

"Hey, D-Day, you mind showing me where I'm staying? I think I need a minute to myself."

"Sure thing," D-Day says, pushing himself out of his chair and gesturing for Boon to follow him up the stairs.

Once he's sure that they're out of earshot, Boon decides to ask, "Hey, is Freddy gay?"

"Bi," D-Day says. "Why, is that a problem?"

Boon hesitates.

"Well, no," He says. "I just don't appreciate him coming on to me all that much."

"That was just him being friendly." D-Day pushes a door open lightly and sticks his head in. "This room isn't taken, you can have this one."

"Thanks. I'm just having trouble with Otter, and Katy's cheating on me, and--"

"Loosen up," D-Day interrupts. "But hey, if you're gonna have a problem with the gay thing, this maybe isn't the place for you. I don't know if Freddy mentioned…"

Boon shakes his head quickly. "No, no, yeah, of course. He mentioned you had somebody. Who's the lucky fella?"

D-Day opens his mouth, but no words come out. His eyes are trained just past Boon's head.

"Danny?" A familiar voice asks behind him. "Couple of the guys are goin' out, you wanna come?"

Boon spins around. "Bluto!"

Bluto blinks. He straightens himself out against the frame of the door.

"Yeah, baby, I'll be right down," D-Day says absently. Bluto nods and heads back down the stairs.

D-Day turns to Boon.

"I didn't--" Boon starts to say.

"And hey," D-Day interrupts, pointing a finger accusingly in Boon's direction. "No phone calls."


	14. the sound of a gentle word

Otter doesn’t know what to do with himself in the slightest, after Boon leaves. He goes to sleep that night feeling hollow and cold, knowing that Boon could have been in the other room, but he’s not. 

And it hurts so much, to know that after all this time, Boon could say something so awful to him. 

It hurts even more when Otter realizes that no matter what, he could forgive Boon in a heartbeat. 

He doesn’t know how long he lays awake for, but when he wakes up, everything in him is pushing him to call Greg.

“Hello?”

“Greg? It’s Otter.”

Otter can practically hear Greg’s smile over the phone. “What, you miss me already?”

“I need to talk to you,” Otter says. “I know it’s kind of soon for me to be coming to you with guy problems, but I figured you’re the only person who could really get it.”

Greg hesitates. On the line, Otter can hear a voice in the background ask, “Baby, who’s that?” and he thinks back to years earlier when he called Boon and the same thing happened, and he was too much of a coward to say anything.

“Nobody,” Greg says quietly. “Shouldn’t you be on a job hunt?” 

There’s some rustling in the background, and then Greg says, “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Otter says. “You and Chip are good, then?” 

“Why don’t you come over?” Greg asks. “I’ll be here with the baby all day while Chip’s out. We didn’t really get a chance to talk about everything yesterday, anyway.”

Otter takes a shaky breath in. “Sounds good. Sounds great. I’ll see you soon.”

 

Otter isn’t sure how he needs to prepare himself for seeing Greg again, so he doesn’t. He just knocks on the door like they’ve been best friends for the whole time they’ve known each other, rather than the awful rivals-boyfriends rollercoaster they’ve been on together. 

He takes too long to knock on the door. 

“It’s open!” Greg’s voice comes from inside. When Otter opens the door, he finds Greg sitting on the couch with a baby in his lap.

“Otter!” He grins. “Great to see you!” 

Otter gives a nervous smile, taking a seat next to Greg and staring at the baby, unsure of what to say. 

The baby is fast asleep.

"This is Charlie," Greg tells him. "He got dumped on Chip, after Chip slept with some girl like a year ago while he was out being a Jesus freak. She tracked him down because she didn't want to take care of a baby."

"God, I hope that never happens to me," Otter snickers.

Greg bites back a laugh. "If it hasn't by now, I don't think it ever will. Unless you plan to start sleeping with girls again?"

Otter snorts involuntarily. "Oh, absolutely not. Never again."

"Didn't think so."

They fall into a tense silence. Greg shifts Charlie in his lap.

"So you adjusted to the parenting life pretty goddamn quick. It's been, what, a day since we broke up?"

Greg nods, a nervous smile forming on his lips.

Otter frowns. "Things are weird now, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Greg admits. "What do we do about it?"

Otter sighs and slumps back against the couch with a shrug.

"I am happy for you, you know," He finally says. "Really. I always knew you'd never be able to love me as much as you love Chip. And I knew I'd never really be over Boon. So this worked out pretty well, huh? 'cept Boon came over yesterday, and he was pretty nasty to me."

Greg frowns. "What did he say? If you want to tell me."

And it comes easy to Otter, Boon's exact words, because they've been ringing in his head since he heard them.

"He said, uh," Otter coughs, eyes cast down. "'I’m sorry that I’m not gay, but I know you’d be all over me if I was, and I don’t know if I could take that.'"

Greg grimaces. "Ouch. That stings."

"Stuff of nightmares, right?" Otter tries to laugh it off. "I can't really be mad at him, though. Never could."

"I know," Greg says. He manages a sad smile. "I want to help you, Eric. Really. I wish I knew how."

Otter shrugs. He drums his fingers rhythmically on his thigh.

"Don't worry about it," He says. "It's not your problem. You've got your own thing, don't get caught up in mine too." 

"Eric--"

"I honestly don't know what I thought I'd get out of coming here. No offense. I can get out of your hair. I just had to get the Boon stuff off my chest. I should have just called Jimmy or something. I felt bad for always bothering Hoov and Steven, and I certainly can't talk to Katy. I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Eric." Greg places his hand lightly over Otter's. "You're still my  _ friend _ , and I still care about you. I don't want you to think that we have to go back to hating each other like we did at Faber. Things are different now, but I'm here for you. And I'm not going anywhere."

Otter feels himself relax, just a little bit. 

“I hope things get better for you,” Greg says. “God knows you’ve always wanted the best for me, it’s the least I can do to be here for you now that I have what I’ve been wanting all these years. If there’s ever anything I can do…”

“I’ll be sure to let you know,” Otter promises. “I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options as far as friendship goes. Everyone’s so sick of my bullshit, and I get it. I’d be sick of myself too. I  _ am _ sick of myself, really.” He laughs nervously, carding a hand through his hair. “I should leave you be.”

“No,” Greg says, tightening his hand around Otter’s wrist. “Stay and watch a movie or something. I don’t want things to be weird.”

Otter bites his lip. 

“Sure,” He finally agrees. “Can’t hurt, right?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait! I'm trying to get back into writing frequently again!!


End file.
